Do you ever find you look back and think how did I get here? I am 53 and just starting to pay attention to my body. Just starting to honour myself. Not putting everyone else first, and forgetting about myself. Including myself on the list of things to care for, rather than leaving myself out.
Yesterday I was on top of a 14,000 ft mountain in Colorado. I saw these beautiful mountain goats, way up high on the top of a pyramid of rocks looking down at us. I followed a 10-year-old boy up the rocks, trying to keep up with his nibble hopping from rock to rock. I asked the 10-year-old boy for his technique for climbing. He said “hold onto the rocks with your hands, and don’t put much weight on your feet”. What a difference that made, I climbed nimbly up the mountain and saw this mountain goat family at the top of the world. Just me and the boy. Everyone else was on the ground yelling cautions to us to “be safe”, or “watch out for the charging mother with her babies”.
Later that night before we fell asleep in each others arms, my husband asked me what was the highlight of my day? I said “being 53 and just starting to feel fit, and strong for the first time in my life”. I was proud I was able to climb by myself. I was nervous but I called on my ancestors, who have been climbing mountains for years. I could almost see my grandfather shaking his fist in the air as if to say “we shall overcome”!
Having been physically ill for 8 years, I am just starting to feel strong and somewhat healthy. I think this is partly because of a greater compassion for myself, and being more patient with myself, rather than punishing myself to change. As Dr. Barbara D’Angelis says “loving myself forward instead”.
In spite of my imperfection I am shinning even at this late stage in my life……
It’s not over till it’s over.