Living a life in two countries.
It is a strange subversive stress to live in one country (in this case the USA) and have your friends and your belongings in another country (Canada). I live in Colorado and I am adapting to the differences in culture. But despite how much I love my new husband I am always feels torn. Torn between the familiar, the ease of Canada and the strange individualistic culture of the USA.
As we flew here to Canada from Denver a mother and father with twin boys boarded the plane. They asked a man if he would be willing to trade seats with the husband who was in the back of the plane as he would be separated from his kids and wife. The man refused to move, he liked his seat near the front of the plane.
For the next two hours the kids screamed and the mother screamed, I bet he wished he had traded seats on the plane. I remember thinking he must be an American. Most Canadians would have given up their seat.
When we landed in Canada we came through as one family. I had a Canadian passport and he has an American passport. I thought we would get pulled over for scrutiny. Instead they said to my partner “Canada welcomes you”. What a sigh of relief!
Living in the USA without the right to work is stressful. So is not being able to leave the country. I sympathize with the undocumented hispanic populations who live in fear that they will be kicked out.
I am relieved to know that the end is in sight—- I will have all my life in one place soon.
I believe as humans we are territorial. This means we desire all our stuff our belongings in one place. I have had my belongings in Canada for 8 months, while living in Colorado. Have you ever felt split? A part of you is in one country and part of you is in the other? My heart is with my new husband, and my heart is also with my elderly best friend, who is in Canada trying to manage her house on her own.
For me finally having the right to travel and go to Canada, to have my belongings all in one place, is a feeling of being home.
We had a Canadian wedding reception. Ritual is so important to mark rights of passage. For me this reception helped me know and feel I was married. To be witnessed by a community of people I loved and who love me in return.
I would love to hear from others who are living life in two countries…………